Mother's Day and going back home

We had a pretty nice Mother's Day dinner. I bought my mom this very beautiful arrangement of flowers. It was one of the best arrangements I've seen and very big. It was nice spending some time with them. But there is always this heavy burden when I think about them.

Truthfully, I don't really like going home to my parents' place that much. I rarely do. It's been months since I last saw them. I've never been that close to my family. It's not that I don't like them. Sure they have their differences and oddities and sometimes the things they do and think annoy me to no end, but that's all families. My family depresses me. I have a brother who's been ill for years, and apparently, it's gotten worse lately. He goes through periods where he's better and worse. But overall, he's always been ill. So I guess better or worse within the ill spectrum. My parents are generally negative people, especially my father. But I guess I can see why. My other brother (youngest) isn't doing too well either.  Well, I guess if you measure success in terms of career and material things. I hate talking about my family and rarely do. I don't want to have kids when I think about my family.

Update: I guess the Christian thing to do is be supportive of them. But I just don't think I have it in me to rise above it. It's just easier not having to think about issues and just live my own life. It's just not fun thinking about them when there is nothing I can do to help them financially or make the illness go away. I can't make us less dysfunctional.